Mother's Day

Wow...today was my second time as a mother on Mother's Day. My husband made me a simple breakfast. I received a necklace that says Mom and I also received a saute pan. I requested both of them. We were supposed to go to see the movie Babies. We didn't. I ate breakfast in bed. I ate ice cream and cake in bed. I ate Slim Jims in bed. I watched TV and did stuff on the computer in bed. I listened to him and our 1 year old as they did things in the living room. The most productive thing I did was get up when she cried after she woke up from her second nap. That's it. I then put her in the living room with him and went back to the, you guessed it, bedroom.

A little background information: I had my daughter at the age of 41. I was married for a month when I found out I was pregnant with her. I had a 'good' pregnancy but was very depressed and irritable. Just ask my co-workers. My first Mother's Day took place about 4 weeks after she was born. To say I was suffering from the Baby Blues would be an understatement. My mom is also no longer with me. She died almost 14 years ago. I thought my difficult Mother's Day was because of hormonal challenges last year but when I couldn't even get out of bed this year I knew it was something else.

Before everybody screams "See a doctor!" I already do. I already take medication for Bipolar type 2. However, I'm still human and still react to situations that cause great depression.

I only hope that my daughter won't be traumatized by this since she's only 1. I only hope I get better throughout the years. I don't want her to remember her mother as a woman who lays in bed all the time. She deserves much better.